The 10 Commandments of the Gym Floor

All too often veteran iron pumpers and neighborhood newbies commit gym sins ranging from the minor to the downright dangerous. I have compiled a list of gym commandments that if followed will help everyone achieve their fitness goals and get you in and out of the gym in one piece...

1. Thou shalt not forget to re-rack your weights when done
2. Thou shalt not sit on flat benches doing wrist curls
3. Thou shalt not leave sweaty head prints on the benches-wipe them off when done
4. Thou shalt not talk on the damned cell phone in the gym!!!
5. Thou Shalt not join the GYM in January as a New Year's resolution
6. Thou shalt not use the gym as a pickup spot
7. Thou shalt not bring bulky gym bags out of the locker room and leave them on the floor
8. Thou shalt not talk for 10 minutes between reps and hog the equipment
9. Thou shalt not do plyometrics around the guys doing bench presses- you trip-we die
10. Thou shalt not put so much weight on the bar that you can only do 1 rep-every set

How difficult is it to put barbells, dumbbells and the like back in their rack holders? It takes the same amount of time to put them back as it did to take them out. I am not your mother so try putting them back for the next guy/gal to use. The next guy i see sitting for twenty minutes on the edge of a bench press doing wrist curls is getting cuffed upside his head! IF you sweat (and you should in a gym) wipe down the bench surfaces before you leave. My football coach once said excuses are like assholes, everyone's got one and they all stink...well everyone has a cell phone-and they have no place on the gym floor. You pay good money to work out...unplug the damned thing, leave it in your car, or better yet at home for the 1 hour you will be working out. Chicks dig good looking buff guys...hard to stay buff when guys are spending all their time hanging with the ladies and tying up all the equipment...leave the pickup lines for the nightclubs! Every gym i have ever been a member of has a locker room....that's where the gym bag belongs, not on the floor for me to trip over! Workouts go faster and muscles build more quickly when you don't talk to your buds for ten minutes between sets. Some of us actually have lives and would like to keep our workouts to less than 2.5 hours. One more person does double handed farmer walks past my bench with 350 lbs on board is getting their ass kicked. Save the yoga, & the plyometric crap for the aerobics room...not the free weight room!! Every time you touch a weight you don't need to find out your 1 rep max...i swear i see more and more guys doing half ass form with so much weight on board that they have to cheat. I see guys doing 250 LB bench press for 1 rep who never touch their chest and have to have their buddies dead lift the bar back on to the rack ....lower the weight and increase the reps, it actually works...

One last thing for all you January New Year's resolution folks....save your money and don't join a gym next year. The trainers get you hooked up for 3 months of personal training on top of the monthly membership fees, sell you all kinds of supplements that you will never consume, and then put you through a workout that only an Olympian will ever make it through without a Ben Gay rubdown...save yourself the pain and the Money$$$. Most of all save me & the guys like me who hit the Iron 4-5 times a weak and who spend January-May fighting with you cell phone toting, sweaty headed, jabber jawing, pickup artist, 1 rep lifting, freak shows for access to our equipment!! I used to be subtle when nicely asking someone on their cell phone if they are done with that bench...not anymore newbies!!!! To stay pumped for life you got to get pumped and you don't get pumped talking, sitting, or picking up chicks...